Workshop Outline

Dr. Patricia A. Gaffney, LCSW-C, CCDC – Clinical Director 

Rev. Ed Jansen, MA   – Program Director/Developer

Part I – Communication Skills

Angry people often fail to communicate well

In this first part we explore the two languages we all use:  Verbal and Body Language.  We examine how we use both languages to deescalate the feelings of anger and rage. We learn how to position ourselves and how to  use words and phrases that enable us to control our angry feelings.

Part II – Becoming Curious

Angry people are often judgmental and condemning

We contrast the difference between curiosity and judgment/anger.  We look at such things as “name calling,” “negative grouping,” “assumptions,” and “I know what you’re feeling-thinking” and replace them with questions. This is powerful once we grasp the understanding that “Questions are the answer.”

Part III – Thinking Controls Behavior

Angry people are often controlled by their feelings instead of their thinking

So often our behavior produces the very opposite outcome we desire.  This part will be the beginning of “cognitive behavioral training.”  It will help us examine the thinking that controls our behavior.   After this session the participants will find that they will more often be able to match desired outcome with actual outcome.

Part IV – Understanding Feelings

Angry people are often unaware of their feelings underneath their anger

This session  examines feelings, especially difficult feelings, and teaches the participants how to respond to and express them in ways that deescalate our anger.

Part V – Beyond Anger Management

Angry people often use their anger to destroy rather than build up

We take an in-depth look at the emotion of anger.  We see that it is neither good nor bad.  We learn that we can express anger well or poorly and how we express it either escalates or deescalates our  anger.  We give the participants solid anger management tools before we move into the deeper aspects of anger that are often primitive, even child-like.

We see how we can use this emotion to build relationships rather than destroy them.  We find that through transformative anger we are empowered to make something right out of something wrong.  If you’re up for it, this lesson will change your life!

Part VI – Freedom from the Need to Control

Angry people are often obsessed with a need to control the outcome

We know that this is the most difficult concept to grasp.  We learn that our “attachment to outcome” is the basis for most of our conflict in life.  We see how this attachment escalates our anger.  In this segment we teach individuals how to let go of outcome without compromising one’s integrity or values.  Once the “light bulb” goes on, people will find themselves completely liberated from the bondage of their need to control.  Many will see themselves, maybe for the first time in their lives, “free at last!” and free to be in relationships in an entirely different way.